The misunderstood

Quiet people are misunderstood. I should know. I've been one my entire life. There are three reactions you get when you're quiet: they either feel bad you, think your a freak, or you just don't exist. I don't know what's worse: being hated for who you are are or being made nonexistent because you're not social enough. It's not like I'm complaining, though. That used to be me. A year ago, I wouldn't have been able to tell you I was happy with who I was without bursting into tears. I was going through a cycle of self hate. I swore I needed to make myself a better person and I had an image of me I just couldn't fit no matter how hard I tried. I felt like I would never be good enough for anybody, when in truth I would never be good enough for myself. In my mind, I was nothing, nonexistent. I let the people around me cause me to feel invisible. I didn't want their sympathy, I wanted their acceptance.
I wanted my acceptance.
But who was I kiddin'? In the back of my mind I knew, I think I always knew, that I would never live up to that image, and that thought killed me inside.It made me hate the person I saw looking back at me in the mirror everyday. It wasn't until I truly accepted the fact that I had no lick of self esteem that I began to accept myself. It's kind of funny when you realize how dependent you are on other people's perceptions of you. You think you're pretty until you hear someone thinks you're teeth are yellow, or that your nose is too big. And it can be the the ugliest kid in school, or the girl that's so fake that she talks about everybody, but the damage is done. You can't help but look at yourself differently after that comment.You realize how fake half the people around you are, and you want to smack yourself for wanting to be one of them. But, honestly, who hasn't been in that boat? Who hasn't been a little insecure, or desparate for the acceptance of the people around them?Who hasn't felt misunderstood at least once in their life?