We're almost there

Can you believe it? We're almost there, to the end of the school year. It's weird how everything seems to drag on for an eternity till the end and you look back and it's flown by. By the time we know it, we'll all be graduating with tears in our eyes and early acceptances to colleges like Harvard and Stanford. It's already the fourth quarter and the flowers are blooming, even though I could have sworn just yesterday I was an eighth grader on a plane going to Costa Rica. But that's how life is. It zooms by without you if you don't advantage of every second. Next year we'll be sophmores. We'll be meeting new people, getting smarter, and maturing even more than we've already had (well most people.)I wonder, am I the only one who thinks about how they'll be when they get older? What friends they have, how many broken hearts they have acquired.
High school is definitely not what I would have expected. It's a lot of late nights and hard work. It's frustration and social sacrifice in order to succeed. But I've learned it's also finding yourself. It's about realizing you don't fit in into the crowd and accepting that you're unique. It's about realizing what you're calling is and doing everything you can to make sure it comes true. As the years progress, I know it's inevitable that people are going to change and life is going to get harder. High school is the chance for you to get ready to life alone. When you're on your own, there's no one but you who's going to pay your bills. You're going to have to get a job and make something of yourself, unless you're okay with mooching off of your parents like a leech.
I personally wouldn't be able to live with myself.

My Anthem

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son, when you grow up,
Would you be
The savior of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"

He said,
"Will you defeat them,
Your demons
And all the non-believers,
The plans that they have made?
Because one day
I'll leave you.
A phantom
To lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."
Sometimes I get the feeling
She's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
And through it all the rise and fall,
The bodies in the streets,
And when you're gone, we want you all to know:

We'll carry on!
We'll carry on!
And though you're dead and gone,
Believe me,
Your memory will carry on,
Will carry on!
And in my heart I can't contain it,
The anthem won't explain it.

A world that sends you reeling
From decimated dreams.
Your misery and hate will kill us all!
So paint it black
And take it back,
Let's shout out loud and clear.
Defiant till the end, we hear the call ...

To carry on.
We'll carry on!
And though you're dead and gone,
Believe me,
Your memory will carry on,
Will carry on!
And though your broken and defeated,
Your weary widow marches ...

On and on we carry through the fears!
Oh, oh, oh!
Disappointed faces of your peers!
Oh, oh, oh!
Take a look at me
'Cause I could not care at all!

Do or die,
You'll never make me
Because the world
Will never take my heart!
Go and try,
You'll never break me!
You want it all,
You wanna play this part!
I won't explain,
I'll say I'm sorry!
I'm unashamed,
I'm gonna show my scar!
Gonna cheer
For all the broken!
Listen here
Because it's ???
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero,
Just a boy!
I'm gonna sing this song!
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero!
I don't care!

We'll carry on,
We'll carry on!
And though you're dead and gone,
Believe me,
Your memory will carry on,
You'll carry on!
And though your broken and defeated,
Your weary widow marches on!

Do or die,
You'll never make me
Because the world
Will never take my heart!
Go and try,
You'll never break me!
You want it all,
You wanna play this part!
Do or die,
You'll never make me
Because the world
Will never take my heart!
Go and try,
You'll never break me!
You want it all,
You wanna play this part!
---

Waiting for the day

You know when you read something he writes and you want it to be about you, but big whoop it isn't. You want to hate him, but you can't cause he's moved on. Or really he forgot you were there because for him there was nothing to move on from.It's really hard, knowing you're not the one he's talking about. You want it to be. Because your mind tells you he's a piece of dirt on the floor, but your heart tells you otherwise. You miss him, the days when you didn't feel guilty when he crossed your mind. Nothing's changed because the feelings are as strong as ever, but the anger and shame that wasn't there before consumes you until you're overwhelmed. Right now, hope is your worst enemy because it's the only thing that keeps you from getting over him.
It ain't supposed to be this hard. I thought I was over this. I thought all those nights of thinking about him and the moments where I wanted to scream and punch the wall cause he wasn't with me was over. There was a time where I could've sworn I was fine. I could survive even though he sits right in front of me in English. I was bigger than that- bigger than him. Cause I didn't need his approval to be happy about me, cause confidence is a stain that never wipes off.

I just want it to end, I want him to be out of sight out of mind.We live in separate worlds and if he doesn't see me for me I should be able to forget about him. But my heart is in denial, and still stops when his green eyes coincidentally meet mine.
I'm waiting for the day where I forget about him so I can go on with my life without him crossing my mind and making me stop in my tracks.

My confession

Can't regret my decisions
not surprised I didn't listen
to my mind from the beginning
told me I wouldn't be winning
but I did it anyway
sad to say
my instincts were right got played
feelings of rejection and depressing just won't go away
and I pray
from the ground to the sky
but here they stay
never in my life would I imagine going through such pain
where my heart is broken
and I'm choking
on emotions
in my throat it's
killing me to be around him
all is lost i haven't found it
motivation to be better keep going to forget him
know its best if I don't let it get to me
just breathe

But it ain't workin'
I'm still hurtin'
in my soul there's hope still lurking
goes to show that I'm not perfect
getting hurt was never worth it
didn't learn my lesson
guessing
that I'm still obsessing
stressing
this is my confession
listen
to the words that i am spilling
can't deny what I am feeling
cause I tried to be it
tried to be this
person everyone expected
one that never gets affected
by the people who reject them
now I'm done
the show has ended
it was fun that's my confession.

Rise against

If you ever listen to My Chemical Romance, you'll see what real emo is. Man, it's deep, I tell you. THis is what real music is. Real lyrics you can feel. Not a synthesized voice singing about cars and money. It makes me sick to see all these people doing the same things everyone else does. Talent takes a backseat nowadays, and everyone does the same thing lil' wayne does. They say his lyrics, but they don't know who tupac or Biggie are. Never will I be like everybody else. I used to want to be that, till I realized you don't become remembered if you do that. You need to be yourself,even when it's hard. Because we've all been there, where you want to be the cool kid just to be it. Rise against. Prove them all wrong

Some things don't change

It's funny
how we're running
up the stairs to college
lugging
all this pressure, teachers bugging
us to keep our sleeved shirts tucked in.
since the fifth grade
we were babies
I've been noticing this lately
that nothing seems to be changing
and it gets so aggravating.
how we get autos for lateness
in the ninth grade
are you serious!!!!
you teachers are delirious
to think we're that immature
how can be so curious
that we can act that negative
when it's Wednesday
1:38
we're still in school
cause we were late
can't break the rules
"You'll be okay"
but there's one thought inside our brain
the thought that makes us feel afraid
a phrase we're scared to even say
"Some things will never ever change".

What I can be

It's not as easy as you think
the world I live in everyday
I'm not as happy
always laughing
as people probably portray
not the epitome of sluttiness society portrays
people expect tragedy from me
yet they don't know my last name.
They see my curly hair
almond shaped eyes
assume I'm Mexican
say the farthest I'll go is making fries
cause I'm from a different land
Say that my GPA
is 1.8
i'll be pregnant by then
this is what I don't get
cause last I checked
I was American
I'll be forever judged
cause of my blood
where I come from
ain't good enough
for all you
authorities
that I can never
ever please
because my skin's a little tan
and came into this world unplanned
But you don't know me
and it's showing
ignorance
cause where I'm goings
farther than
you guys were hoping
not going to live up to what you believe
you're gonna see
what I can be.

Can't Get out of my head

Man it's hard to forget you. No matter how hard I try, there's something about you. You do something to me, and sometimes it's like it's hard to breathe around you. I like to say I'm over you but..I'm not. Man it sucks-love. You know what the worst part is i was never in love with you. how can you you be in love with someone who never loved you in the first place. It was all a game. A sick game that i bet you jigsaw is watching in a room and laughing. I just don't understand-what you have on me. Is it that you're an asshole? Is it your really green eyes? It's not like it's completely your fault, cause if I really wanted to, I could've been gotten over you. but a part of me still hopes you love me. I don't know why that little part of me keeps on dreaming of the impossible. maybe It's what helps me sleep at night, thinking you and me will be something more. i know I need to stop. I NEED TO STOP!!!! I NEED TO GET OVER YOU!!!!!